Jameela Jamil Has A Huge Crush On Her 'The Good Place' Co-Star Ted Danson | Screen Tests

Jameela Jamil may be one of television's brightest stars with her role on 'The Good Place,' but the actress swears that wasn't always the case. In her first Screen test, Jamil opens up about being a late bloomer, her comedic celebrity crushes, and shows off some unexpected secret talents.

Released on 7/24/2019

Credits

Starring: Jameela Jamil

Transcript

00:00
I moved to California, 'cause I wanted to be happy,
00:02
I was definitely not trying to be an actress,
00:04
I wanted to be a writer, a comedy writer in particular
00:07
and I was forced really to go to the audition
00:10
for The Good Place, it went great!
00:13
I have been on a show opposite Ted Danson,
00:16
my hero for three years,
00:19
I got the job and started a week later.
00:21
So I've had to study Ted Danson like a book
00:24
and everything that I know is from him,
00:27
it's siphoned and stolen from Ted Danson,
00:30
so anytime I'm shit, it's because of Ted Danson.
00:33
[laughing]
00:34
I definitely fancy Ted,
00:37
that's okay, is that creepy, am I creepy?
00:39
He's still so hot! Yeah, he's great looking.
00:42
My Lord, I mean. Yes. [laughing]
00:48
I was on Twitter, Ah-huh.
00:50
talking bollocks for years and no one was listening
00:53
and then I had to join Instagram really for The Good Place
00:57
and I guess I have really taken to it
01:00
and it's become a fairly massive part of my life
01:03
and I use it to scream at people.
01:05
[laughing]
01:07
I think so much of my career has been about fighting erasure
01:10
and I am the first South Asian woman,
01:13
who's done most of the jobs that I've done
01:15
and that's something I take great pride in
01:17
and that was part of what convinced me
01:19
to take this incredible job,
01:20
even though I felt completely unequipped
01:23
and was so afraid of being globally exposed
01:25
for being a shit actress.
01:27
The bravest thing I've done in my life
01:30
was move to Los Angeles,
01:32
even though I was told that I shouldn't,
01:34
'cause I was too old at 28 and too fat
01:38
and they said I was too ethnic.
01:39
I had no contacts and no friends here, I did it anyway
01:43
and I think trying is winning
01:45
and everything else is just cake and orgasms.
01:48
Once every decade my body decides to challenge me,
01:52
I was 17, I damaged my back very badly in a car accident
01:55
and that taught me how to respect my body
01:57
in a way that I'd never done before
02:00
and when I was 28 a doctor found a giant lump in my breast
02:05
and I had a week in which I would find out
02:07
whether or not it was cancer,
02:09
during that week I made a bucket list
02:11
and the number one thing on that list
02:13
was move to California, 'cause I'd always dreamed of it
02:15
and so when I found out that it wasn't cancer,
02:19
I had to have an operation
02:20
and six weeks from the operation date, you're allowed to fly
02:22
and so I booked my ticket exactly six weeks from that day
02:25
and I got on a plane on my own,
02:27
had no idea what was gonna happen here
02:29
and I'm not talented at sex, so I couldn't be a porn star.
02:34
[laughing]
02:36
It's just not the thing that's great about me.
02:40
No, and I also have no upper body strength,
02:42
so me and a pole are just like,
02:45
it's just not my thing.
02:46
[laughing]
02:48
Me doing reverse cowgirl
02:49
is the saddest thing you've ever seen.
02:51
I do have big plans to get into The Bachelorette,
02:54
I've been assured by everyone, I love it.
02:56
that it is the finest entertainment on television,
02:59
yeah, sorry, Scorcese, you're out,
03:02
The Bachelorette's in.
03:04
I've never had a birthday party,
03:05
my family tried to throw one for me,
03:07
when I was 10 and no one came,
03:09
because I was just bad at making friends,
03:12
I was very bulliable and very socially inept.
03:16
I was definitely not gorgeous as a child
03:18
and that's not to say that I think I necessarily am now.
03:21
I'm half Pakistani and part Indian
03:23
and I came from a poor background,
03:25
I was also mostly deaf until I was about 12 years old
03:29
and so I think those things inhibit your social skills
03:32
and you miss a lot.
03:34
I had an operation when I was 12,
03:35
a man called Dr. Valentine performed a new operation
03:38
on my ear in which he sort of replaced my eardrum,
03:40
I have partial hearing now, but I can hear enough
03:42
and it can be quite lonely at times not being able to hear
03:46
and I go through periods of it
03:47
still becoming worse and worse as I'm getting older,
03:50
but it's also made me a very observant person
03:52
and I think it's contributed to my emotional intelligence
03:55
and my ability to perceive other people's needs
03:57
and I think it's made me a good friend,
04:00
still a bad shag, but a good friend.
04:02
[laughing]
04:03
My first kiss, I was 21.
04:06
The film, The 40-Year-Old Virgin had just come out
04:08
and everyone that I knew gave me a copy of that film,
04:11
so I had 25 copies of The 40-Year-Old Virgin
04:14
and a friend of mine finally kissed me
04:16
on a bench outside a bus stop
04:17
and it was the best and he was such a good kisser
04:20
and I've heard so many horror stories
04:22
about people's first kiss,
04:23
but I think actually doing it at 21 is the key.
04:27
[laughing]
04:29
I recommend that to all the kids.
04:32
Hilarity is the journey to my vagina, you know, it is.
04:37
Who do I have a crush on now?
04:39
I keep meeting like old crushes of mine,
04:41
like I met Jim Carrey at the Golden Globes and almost died.
04:46
Who do I fancy now?
04:48
Oh no, am I dead inside?
04:51
Am I dead below the waist?
04:52
I do like Seth Rogen
04:54
and I feel like he'd be a wonderful lover,
04:56
[laughing]
04:57
there's just something about him.
04:59
I guess I probably still fancy Will Smith,
05:02
I mean, I'm only human, but if I ever meet him
05:06
and also Jada, I respect you
05:08
and I have no plans or intentions towards Will of course
05:12
and you are Queen and I'm sorry.
05:15
I'm gonna show you my secret skill.
05:17
I, for starters can you see my arms and how they bend?
05:20
[Lynn] Oh, yes.
05:22
So that's already unbelievably sexy
05:25
and then you see my shoulder?
05:28
It's a perfectly nice, normal shoulder.
05:30
Ah-huh. but now it's not.
05:31
[gasping]
05:32
It's dislocated, it's in, it's out, it's in.
05:36
Why did no one kiss me when I was younger?
05:39
I can kiss my own arse.
05:40
Let's do that! Oh no.
05:43
I don't wanna end up on Pornhub.
05:45
[laughing]