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Issa Rae Gives Life Advice | Ask W

Need guidance from your favorite celebs? Email your questions to askw@wmag.com! In this episode of 'Ask W', actress Issa Rae (HBO's Insecure) gives advice on how to get your boyfriend back in shape, Instagram etiquette, ghosting Tinder dates, digging out of a financial hole, wedding gifts, interracial relationships, maintaining meaningful relationships when you travel a lot for work, and unfollowing ex's on social media. 'The Hate U Give' opens in theaters nationwide October 19th.

Released on 10/16/2018

Credits

Starring: Issa Rae

Transcript

00:00
Girl, are you me, did I write this?
00:05
Hey I'm Issa Rae,
00:07
and today I'm gonna give you some life advice.
00:09
All right, Amanda from Syracuse says,
00:12
when I met my boyfriend,
00:13
he was very active and in great shape.
00:15
But now a few years later, he's really let himself go.
00:18
I work really hard to stay fit,
00:20
and it bothers me that he doesn't.
00:22
How do I talk to him about it?
00:23
Be like, hey I really need a running partner,
00:26
or hey I really need a workout partner,
00:27
and you know it's really sexy to me
00:29
when you work out, so let's do this together.
00:31
Make it a group activity.
00:33
If he's like, mm no, you got it,
00:36
then you gotta be like, you know what else I got?
00:37
Myself, 'cause you gotta go.
00:39
'Cause if he's not trying to work out with you,
00:40
that's what you love to do,
00:42
you want your partner to look a certain way,
00:44
and you're going in on it with him,
00:45
and if he doesn't care about himself,
00:47
then what else is he letting go?
00:49
What is the social media etiquette
00:51
for following someone back on Instagram?
00:53
Erica from Philadelphia wants to know.
00:56
If you're not food, someone I met in person,
00:58
or my favorite celebrity, then sorry.
01:01
Emma from Philadelphia wants to know,
01:03
if you go out on a Tinder date with someone,
01:05
is it okay to ghost?
01:07
Absolutely, but it's not polite.
01:09
I think it depends on the context.
01:11
Were they super rude, do you not care about their feelings,
01:14
and if you don't care about their feelings,
01:16
are you a terrible person?
01:17
You have to think about all those things,
01:19
and then decide, but I for one have done it,
01:23
and I'm not a great person who you should take advice from.
01:26
Ali from Washington DC wants to know,
01:29
as an obsessed Insecure watcher
01:31
and seeing Issa's financial struggles,
01:33
what is your best piece of financial advice
01:35
for someone in a similar situation?
01:37
How do you dig yourself out of the financial black hole?
01:40
Well Ali, as someone who has been there,
01:42
has been as broke as Issa D, I would say
01:47
you gotta always have hustles.
01:49
I have like three or four jobs.
01:51
I definitely lean on credit cards,
01:52
and paid those minimum payments,
01:54
but something that I did not know
01:56
and was relieved to find out
01:57
is that you can call your credit card companies.
02:00
They just want a call, don't avoid their calls
02:01
like I did so many times.
02:04
Just call 'em and be like, look, I just moved,
02:06
or look, I just got married and I can't pay these,
02:10
I need a break, or I need a discount.
02:12
Even for loans they will be like,
02:14
how much can you pay right now,
02:15
and in many cases they'll be like,
02:17
oh, we'll take some of the debt off
02:21
if you just pay something right now.
02:22
So just talk to the people on the other end of the line,
02:25
and they wanna hear from you.
02:26
And pray, that's another thing.
02:29
Lexi from New York wants to know,
02:31
I forgot to give a good friend a wedding present.
02:34
Honestly, it wasn't intentional.
02:35
I didn't have a lot of money at the time
02:36
and just kept putting it off.
02:38
Now it has been three years, and I'm doing better.
02:42
She hasn't mentioned it to me, but I recently saw her
02:44
at another friend's wedding and felt guilty.
02:46
Should I bring it up, buy a gift?
02:48
Help.
02:49
If they're still together, give them a gift.
02:50
If they break up, then it's too late.
02:53
You can't give them a wedding gift
02:55
and be like, sorry, here's your divorce gift.
02:56
It'll probably help their marriage, to be honest,
02:59
'cause they're talking about you every day.
03:00
That's what you don't know.
03:01
Every time they see you, they're like,
03:03
mm, there Lexi go, there go broke Lexi without the gift.
03:07
I am in an interracial relationship with a white man.
03:10
How do I prep my parents for the first meet,
03:13
to avoid any embarrassing or insensitive comments
03:15
that they may innocently make,
03:17
Natalie from LA wants to know.
03:19
Just be like, look, they might say this,
03:21
and they don't mean anything by it,
03:22
and their views don't reflect mine,
03:26
and say the same thing to your parents,
03:29
like, look, I love this guy.
03:31
Hope you do, 'cause you're bringing him to meet the parents.
03:34
And he's not going anywhere so just watch what you say,
03:38
'cause you're gonna have to be around him for a while.
03:41
Chrissy from Brooklyn wants to know,
03:43
how do you manage to maintain meaningful relationships
03:45
with your friends when you're traveling often for work?
03:49
Whew, I just had this discussion.
03:51
Sometimes people wanna know that you're thinking about them,
03:53
and so you should look at people's lives,
03:56
look at their little Insta-stories,
03:58
look at their pictures, check in,
04:00
send your own pictures, just make your presence known,
04:03
and make people known.
04:03
Sometimes the hey, I just was thinking about you text
04:06
goes a long way.
04:07
Should I unfollow my ex on social media?
04:10
Savanna from Boston wants to know.
04:12
Yes.
04:13
Why would you wanna see pictures of his or her happiness?
04:17
Why would you subject yourself to that?
04:20
You gotta move on.
04:21
Unfollow, block if necessary, don't hold on,
04:24
unless you guys are good friends,
04:25
in which case, great, you're doing it right.
04:28
If you don't wanna seem like you're bitter,
04:33
you are,(Issa Laughs) and that's fine.
04:39
It's okay to be mad that you broke up.
04:42
You're only making yourself suffer, so do it.